Whew! 2019 kicked me to the curb, then proceeded to drag me down the street. Honestly, last year was trying as HELL. But I made it. I’m here!!!
One of the repeating themes in my life is the Tower and learning to adapt to change. I’ll mosey along and when an aspect of my life becomes problematic to the point where I begin to complain about it, BOOM. The Universe decides to shake things up because it’s not healthy for me to just sit there and gripe about it.
Last April, I was given a Tower moment in a big way. A little over two weeks after giving birth to an adorable little baby girl I was carrying for another family (as a surrogate), my family and I were in a devastating car crash. The kids are okay! For the most part. We were all battered & bruised with seatbelt rashes and bumps that took weeks to heal. For me, I took the brunt of it, breaking my foot in several places, along with right hand and right wrist. My right hand was actually pushed into the windshield by the airbag, so there’s a lot of scarring and some glass fragments still left in my hand. Please know that while punching a windshield sounds bad ass, I don’t actually recommend it.
It took me MONTHS to heal. When I was finally able to walk, I was going to physical therapy twice a week – seeing one therapist for my hand and another for my foot. I used a cane for months and still sometimes need it if my foot and ankle are stiff. It was an ordeal.
While I’d made it 34 years without breaking any bones and then collectively broke 10 in the space of 30 seconds, I couldn’t help but see a pattern for me. When my life gets stagnant, or when I keep talking about changing things but not actually taking action to change those things, Spirit decides to shake things up on my behalf.
When this car accident occurred, I had been discussing moving out of state for 3 years. I had also hit a plateau in my career and wasn’t happy. But through all the talk, I wasn’t actually DOING anything. We had gone on vacation to Idaho to see if it was a place we wanted to move, but I’ll be honest – I don’t know it was a realistic choice as a place for us to move to. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I would have come back from vacation and just picked back up with life as usual. No changes made.
10 months post-accident and I’m clear on what this Tower moment was for me. The Universe said, “Ok, you say you want to move and change things, but what if we FORCED you to stay where you were. What would you say to that?” The sheer frustration of NOT being able to go anywhere or progress with plans – being forced to stay put – really put into perspective how I was really okay with things when I was comfortable. When I’m forced out of that comfort zone is when I realized that no, this isn’t just some pipe dream. I NEED to move and am going to move heaven and earth to make this happen.
Sometimes the Universe has to take a dream completely out of reach to make a person realize how little action was being taken to make that dream a reality. I wasn’t working on my dream, I was just talking about it. And talk is cheap.
So, here I am! I’m planning a trip to a place more suitable to my family’s needs (now that I can travel again – yippee!) and we’re taking actions to get the ball rolling.
Look, shit happens. Things go sideways. Part of the journey of spiritual growth is also personal growth – learning to adapt and push through the uncomfortable bits. If I want something to happen, I need to get off my ass and make it happen. No one is going to just hand me a new house in a great state with no strings. That doesn’t just happen on its own.
For all of you out there with unrealized dreams – write that book. Book that trip. Call that old friend to see how they are. Take an action today to MAKE. THAT. SHIT. HAPPEN. You can absolutely do this. Don’t make the Universe shove you out of the nest like me. Because it will hurt. 😛
Brightest Blessings, -Cory